Buffalo Chicken Grinder

Yesterday, a couple of hours after I stopped sobbing from writing my first post... My husband and I decided what to have for dinner.  That's not a significant decision for a regular person who isn't grieving something or someone. But for me, food is a reminder that my baby is gone. Since week 6 I had cravings for pickles, cottage cheese, and spicy things. 

Once or twice a WEEK I was ordering a buffalo chicken grinder from a local sub and pizza shop. I have always loved pickles, but I'm talking about inhaling two or three spears every afternoon. And I would regularly go through two tubs of cottage cheese a week... 

My cravings weren't anything out of the ordinary for a pregnant woman, but now that I don't have them anymore, thinking of eating those foods makes me tear up.

So when my husband asked me what I wanted for dinner last night, I said without hesitation "Buffalo chicken grinder," to which he replied with a stare and skeptical eyebrows. Just three days earlier I cried because I thought of said grinder. I don't blame him. But we went, and I ate it without a tear, along with the pickle on the side :)

I was so proud of myself I embarrassed my husband by making him take a picture of me and my food. I guess from here on out, it's all about conquering the small things. 

My prayer today:

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the strength you give me. Thank you for taking the pain away. I know it's okay to move on, because I'll hold my baby in heaven someday.  

Please help me to grow a little more everyday. I know your love will carry me through this. 

Amen