The Wait

As of last week, my hcg levels were at 3 and I was FINALLY released from my ritual of weekly blood draws. My doctor has ordered monthly blood draws for six months to make sure my levels stay at "zero."  Then and only then will we start trying again. The newest research says three months of waiting is enough. Some old school doctors still insist on waiting one year. But my husband and I are comfortable waiting six months, so that is our plan. 

Losing our baby still seems like a nightmare I should have been able to wake up from. But I'm not crying everyday. I am not on the couch everyday. And I feel like I came out on the other side stronger in my walk with God and in my marriage. I am so thankful for my health. This could have ended differently and I am so glad to be cancer free and still have a child-bearing future ahead of me. 

Part of my healing has been renovating our house. We are creating master bedroom oasis out of an awkward den area. It's almost done and I am a testament to how healing demolition can be. Tearing through walls and ripping down ugly barn wood is a truly therapeutic experience. We are also rescuing another Estrela Mountian Dog. She will need some obedience training and socialization. I am so excited for a project and to give Leo a play buddy! 

I never really shared this blog with anyone. I don't think that was ever my plan. But it was part of my healing. And maybe some day it will be a part of someone else's healing. Just lean on God's great love. It's all you can do.